I’ve been feeling so helpless…

So I’ve been MIA for a while. I was all gung go about getting this site started, updating regularly, and sharing my life and mom experiences with everyone. This is a new journey for me and while I’ve read blogging is a full-time job…I was like ‘I can handle it’—and I was! But then the until recently unnamed illness that’s been ailing my teen for nearly 2 years now decided to wreck havoc on our lives and decide to remind me that having kids should be a full-time job in itself. Let me give you a little background…

How It Started

At the end of February 2024 (2/28 to be exact), my older daughter came home from school holding her stomach, crying, and telling me that her stomach hurt so bad. I’m a teacher, so I know all the germs that she’s exposed to daily. I also do not overreact for things like this. I did my mom thing…checked for fever (no fever), looked to see if her stomach looked swollen (was not), and gave her some otc medication. At this point I had 2 things on my mind: stomach bug or beginning of her first period since she was a few months short of her 12th birthday at the time. She ended up staying home from school for the rest of the week because of the pain, but she never actually developed a bug with nausea, vomiting, or diarrhea. I thought we lucked out OR it was beginning cramps. Either way, I was relieved that she wasn’t actually sick and that we could enjoy the unusually warm weather for the beginning of March. That Sunday I met up with friends and we brought out kids to the park. That marked the first day of nonstop doctor visits…

She barely ended up playing that day. She sat with me and my friends nearly the entire time we were at the park in excruciating pain. Her sister and my friends’ boys played, but she leaned on me with tears in her eyes. I brought her to urgent care straight from the park, which then I was told to bring her to the ER due to the fact that appendicitis couldn’t be ruled out. We were in the ER for hours as doctors ordered test after test. Bloodwork, urine, ultrasound, CT…everything came back normal, but yet there she was crying, laying in a fetal position because her pain was so bad. The one oddity the radiologist did see is that one of her lymph nodes was swollen in her stomach. She was diagnosed with mesenteric adenitis and sent home. I was relieved that after hours of testing, there was a diagnosis. The doctor did say that it could continue to cause pain until it reduced in size, so I shouldn’t be alarmed if she had pain for a few more days. We went home with a medical excuse for 2 more days and instructions to follow up with her pediatrician, which we did. However the pain increased in discomfort and we ended up back in the emergency room later that week with a diagnosis this time of constipation. This was the beginning of nearly 2 years of chronic pain and discomfort, many days off of school for her and work for me, doctor visits and tests, and fear for her to do almost anything that wouldn’t allow for her to stop everything if she had a “flare up” where the pain would increase to a level that would basically deem her bedridden for hours.

Pediatric Gastroenterology, Nutritionist, and Physical Therapy

My daughter saw a pediatric gastro for many months. She was great. She was personable, tested her stool, and did an endoscopy. Everything came back normal. She often questioned anxiety, stress, and my daughter’s mental health because understandably, preteens/teens have a lot on their mind that may not be important to adults, but for kids their age is major. I started to question it too at points, but my daughter stressed that she was ok and that any school or friend related stresses did not trigger any pain. As much as I liked her pediatric gastro, I know this was a major thought in her mind and seriously wondered if the pain was really there. However, she did continue to see my daughter every 3 months until recently.

Along the way we were also referred to a nutritionist (who was amazing!) and we tried different dietary changes, none of which helped the pain. Sidenote: my daughter looooves spicy food so that was the first thing she was told to eliminate. However, as nonreligious that we are, we do honor Lent and for 2 years in a row she has given up spicy food for the entire 6 weeks and it has never, ever eased her stomach pain. So when that was suggested, we immediately knew that was not the cause. We did try to eliminate acid, chocolate, grains, etc but nothing helped.

Last spring (over a year in) I realized that my daughter complains of the most intense pain right after exerting herself either due to sports/exercise, walking uphill quickly, and using the stairs at school. I Googled. I searched medical journals, discussion boards, social media forums. What I did find was MALS or Median Arcuate Ligament Syndrome, an illness that occurs when the median arcuate ligament slides down over the celiac artery and blocks blood flow and affects nerves in the abdominal area. It’s not common at all, but my daughter had experienced most of the symptoms at some point. Unfortunately, her gastro did not agree because, while she had lost a lot of weight initially, she had gained most of it back and was now considered to be at a healthy weight for her age. I felt defeated.

My gastro’s last recommendation of the summer was for my daughter to try physical therapy. Luckily, I had a great place in mind and they took my daughter right away. Unfortunately, after about 6 weeks of attending PT 2x per week, her physical therapist determined that PT was not helping my daughter and concluded her sessions. I signed her up for a few sessions with their chiropractor as well (no cracking of the back or neck, just breathing exercises and more stretches), but my daughter was not interested in it after the first couple sessions. It too was not helping.

Missing Out on the Fun Stuff

While on vacation this summer, my daughter was in great pain. Again, since we were at Disney World, there was a lot of walking and hills. We’d have to stop and rest on our way to a show or ride. She’d sit out on certain rides because she could not bear to stand and wait in line. Then it happened again when we were in NYC. She couldn’t walk around anymore due to pain. Luckily, we live nearby so we cut short our day and went home. Another day she couldn’t walk around the mall because her stomach hurt so badly (and trust me, she is a shopper). Then the final break in the straw was when she decided to quit the volleyball team because she couldn’t rush from school to practice halfway across town and still be able play. This was heartbreaking, both for her and me. I mentioned this at her regular checkup with her gastro and she started testing for blood vessel/artery issues, including MALS.

Testing

We started the next round of imaging tests in October. The test she was prescribed to undergo is apparently very rare, so of course the first test was wrong. While it ruled out an aneurysm, it was not diagnositic for anything else. We moved onto another uncommon ultrasound, an abdominal duplex ultrasound, which would measure the velocities of blood flow through her arteries. This time she was required to fast for 6 hours, and move around at points during the scan. The ultrasound was like a teaching experience I guess. Different techs were in and out to watch. The doctor of radiology made an appearance. Supervisors came in to supervise. Once the first set of images and measurements was taken, she had to eat a meal and 30 minutes later have another ultrasound for post-prandial measurements. In its entirety, this test took over 2 hours! The results came back abnormal. The radiology report stated “suspected but not confirmed MALS” and she was referred to a general pediatric surgeon since this was not a gastro issue anymore. She also had an enlarged spleen or splenomegaly so we were asked to see a hematologist in addition to the surgeon (everything came out fine with her spleen, thankfully, but we did find she has Factor II blood clotting disorder, which will be useful to know in the future).

Not to be unexpected (I mean why would anything be easy LoL), her surgeon was not convinced she had MALS. He sent her for and MRI of her abdomen and and MRA, which too is not so common. Both of these test came up basically normal. There were minor findings that were off, but none of which should be causing the sometimes excruciating pain that she is in. Convinced the initial abdominal duplex ultrasound was done incorrectly (her surgeon worked out of a different hospital than her gastro), her surgeon sent her for another. This time, the supervisor tech at our current hospital did the scan. The results came out nearly identical. The supervisor was extremely honest with us and told us that after speaking with her surgeon and the doctor of radiology, she was sure the velocities in my daughter’s arteries would be normal and MALS could be ruled out. What she saw was the exact opposite. The results were indicative of celiac artery disease, also known as MALS (or celiac artery compression syndrome or celiac axis compression syndrome, or Dunbar syndrome). The tech even found the “hook” that is 100% indicative of the syndrome that basically blocks blood flow through the celiac artery. WE FINALLY HAVE AN ANSWER!

Game Plan

So now we are waiting to speak to the surgeon after he schedules my daughter’s surgery. He needs to coordinate with a few different surgeons, so it might not be for a little while (hopefully only a week or two wait). In the meantime, I hope that just knowing we have an answer gets my daughter through the days and nights. She’s still in a lot of pain, but now there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I’ll keep everyone updated once I get word.

Tyler the Creator

Yesterday I had the luxury of bringing my kids to a Tyler the Creator concert at the Prudential Center in Newark, NJ. My girls looooove him and I had only realized he was in concert locally a few days before the show. I was able to score side-stage seats for a decent price which was a major plus. I mean, who cares they are side-stage? My kids are lucky I even thought of buying them! Honestly my kids do not care. They love attending any live shows and are not seat snobs.

I originally had bought 3 tickets for me and the girls. Then I invited my bff and her daughter. She bought two tix but forgot to mention it to her older daughter who happens to be a Tyler the Creator fan. So then she gave her ticket to her daughter, leaving me as the lone parent there. When her older daughter said her boyfriend would purchase the ticket from me so that I can hang with my bff at one of the restaurants/bars nearby while the concert was happening, I jumped to it. But I jumped a little too quickly.

First off, my daughters are 11 and 13. And my 11 year old is tiny. Second, Tyler the Creator is a hip hop artist. I didn’t know any of his music prior to purchasing the tickets, and what little I heard of it seemed ok, but it’s hip hop. Hip hop concerts can be nuts. Then the mom in me kicked in. And by “kicked in,” I mean I had a full mental movie montage of everything that could go wrong: crowd-surfing, mosh pits, my 11-year-old being used as a glowstick baton. Also, hip hop concerts? I’m from the era of actual chaos. So I flaked (in advance) on swapping tickets with the boyfriend, and decided to go with my kids. As the lone parent. Boy was I surprised when I got there…

I’m exaggerating a little when I say this, but Tyler the Creator is for the kids. LoL. Fans we wearing green, the color of one of his albums. They were dressed preppy. They were dressed in what looked like school uniforms. They wore cardigans. CARDIGANS! At a hip hop concert! I was in shock. This wasn’t a riot. It was a rave for private school honor roll students. I think I talked about what everyone was wearing the entire walk to our seats. And there was more shock as I looked up at everyone’s faces.

There were white kids. Black kids. Hispanic. Asian. You name the ethnicity or race and they were all there. Loads of parents were in the audience with their kids. I was in complete shock. My kids totally could’ve gone with my bffs older daughter and her boyfriend (both college grads, so adults). His entire performance was loud. It was obnoxious. People were dancing all over. But they were like in party mode, not riot mode. They were happy, happy fans.

Let’s pause for a moment of background:

I grew up on Wu Tang, Biggie, DMX, Juelz Santana. I've seen people get bodied at concerts. Like, I’ve personally touched rappers as they crowd surfed over me (consensually, I think?). I’ve seen artists tell the crowd to rush the stage and security just walk away like “not my paycheck.” The concerts I went to were not PG. Honestly, they weren’t even rated. They were unsupervised chaos with a bass line. I wouldn’t have let me go to these concerts if I was my mom (my mom had no clue). But as my kids would say “He is not them.” Bc Tyler the Creator is not.

So, if you’re thinking about letting your kids got to a Tyler the Creator concert. Let ‘em. If they want to go alone, depending on age, I don’t think you have much to worry about. The concert venue we attended is right outside of NYC so for the most part this was a local NYC crowd. And it was still great.

Oh, but merch pricing was not. Ridiculously through the roof. I do not recommend unless $55 for a t-shirt or $100 for a hoodie is in your ballpark..

Let me know what you think about Tyler the Creator and any concert experiences you’ve had.

Quick and Simple School Lunches

Ok so up in the Northeast where I’m located, school doesn’t start for another month…THANKFULLY! As you may know, I’m a teacher too so I have a very bittersweet feeling about the beginning of school. Yes…let’s get my kids back to a routine! and No…does that mean I have to too? Cool, not cool.

Either way, I’ve started thinking about school lunches already. Unfortunately for me, my kids will not eat school lunch. I mean, I get it some days, but c’mon! You can eat school lunch sometimes. Fortunately for me, my kids do not want a whole spread before them. They are simple eaters when it comes to lunch, but that being said…it’s still difficult creating semi-healthy lunches that will hold them over til they get home.

Below are a few ideas that I have for the new year. I’ve used some before, and some will be new. While I can’t say I haven’t tried, I totally do not do cute cuts and smiley faces on my kids’ food. Sorry, but I don’t have time in the morning. I just throw it all in the box. What’s great about using my favorite stainless steel bento boxes is that the food does not spill over into the other compartments and with an ice pack in their lunch bag, everything stays chilled until lunchtime. I usually mix up fruits/veggies each week for variety (plus I like to buy what’s on sale!). Stainless steel snack cups are great too if your child has snack time.

NOTE: If your kids will eat normally hot foods unheated, then your options can expand. My older daughter is a fan of eating pasta, pizza, and basically anything else room temperature. I cannot do this AT ALL, and neither can my younger daughter…but my older prefers this. She gets it from her grandma. I’d eliminate the ice pack for these occasions.

Option #1

Guacamole

Tortilla chips

Cheese cubes

Strawberries

Option #2

Rolled Salami

Mozzarella balls with grape tomatoes and basil

Baby pickles

Grapes

Option #3

Tuna salad on a bed of lettuce

Cucumbers

Grape tomatoes

Crackers

Option #4

Hummus

Pita

Cucumbers

Mandarin

Option #5

Hard boiled eggs

Pasta salad

Mixed berries

Option #6

Chicken pieces with BBQ sauce

Corn

Watermelon

Option #7

Seed or nut butter

Raspberries

Apple

Option #8

Mini bagel

Cream cheese spread

Breakfast sausage

Blueberries

Option #9

Meatballs

Pasta

Mozzarella

Fruit Salad

For drinks my one daughter loves her Capri Suns Roaring Waters and my other loves Nestle’s Splash Water.

Check out my Amazon list for other items I like to throw in as a snack or little extra:

• Bada Bean Bada Boom - dried bean snacks — these were recommended by my daughter’s doctor and are really good!

• Solely Organic Fruit Jerky - beef jerky with fruit. There are sooo many flavors and I am personally obsessed!

• Nutella Biscuits - these are heavenly…just remember these are hazelnut, so they may not work for everyone.

• Biscoff Cookies - these taste great with coffee—so maybe this is a mom snack. Though my daughter loves them.

• Chocolate Quinoa Crisps - my daughter discovered these on a United Airlines flight and is obsessed.

• Crunchy Roasted Edamame - because sometimes eating fresh edamame on the go isn’t practical.

• Black Forest Fruit Snacks - might not be the healthiest option, but at the end of the day, all kids love fruit snacks.

• Glazed Nuts - again, these contain nuts, but are a great energy booster if your child can have them!

Don’t get freaked out by the healthier choices here. Throw in a bag of chips or even Takis if it makes your kid happy. At the end of the day, they need to eat lunch. Luckily my kids will eat fruits and vegetables, so if they want to buy chips at school (fundraisers) or throw some in their book bag if we have any at home, I’m fine with it. My only request of them is to please eat the food I give you. Anything extra you eat is fine.

Let me know if you have any other ideas for quick lunches! I’m always open to new ideas!

Ginny and Georgia—Ginny’s Pregnancy

Feature graphic images credited to: Netflix.

Ginny and Georgia had me hooked from the first season, first episode. Not to single them out, but this mother-daughter duo are my fave characters on the show. I mean yes, obviously they are the main characters, but their relationship outweighs any others. Perhaps that’s because I am a mom of daughters, or perhaps it’s because the directors intended for this to be. Whichever the reason, I have always been in awe of this fictional mother-daughter relationship (ok maybe not always, but usually). However, for the first time in the series, I was really, really, really disappointed with the way Ginny’s pregnancy was handled in Season 3.

If you haven’t already watched, Ginny becomes pregnant during what we are led to believe to be a one time romp with Wolfe, her sort of boyfriend at points this season. They have sex in a laundry room during a party at one of his friend’s houses. At the time, I thought nothing of it. They were sort of dating and it was a short scene in one episode and my mind completely moved onto the fact that Ginny was late getting home and Zion was freaking out.

Fast forward and Norah is late with her period so all four girls decide to take pregnancy tests alongside her. Just for support. Norah is not pregnant, but Ginny is pregnant! She doesn’t tell her friends. She does tell Wolfe, who doesn’t handle it well. He doesn’t handle it poorly, but he handled it like most teenage boys would—he was confused, shocked, and speechless. He ran away for the moment. Ginny ends up going to her mom and because Georgia knows her so well, she knew Ginny was pregnant before she even told her. I have no issues to this point.

Ginny and Georgia have a heart to heart to try to figure out what Ginny should do with her unplanned pregnancy. This is where my first issue arises. Yes, Ginny is on birth control and she admits to probably missing a few days throughout all the craziness in her life. That’s upsetting, but the reality is, it happens. It happens to adults, so it can definitely happen with teens. This is when, as a mom, I would question why she did not use a condom. Wolfe is new in Ginny’s life. Very new. Georgia never even heard of or met him yet. STDs and STIs are real. Even if birth control does not fail, contracting a disease or illness is real. I thought that should have been address. Even if it was one line. Unfortunately, I thought of this after we finished the series and didn’t think to mention this to my daughter at the time.

Then, what was more blaring to me were the portrayed after effects of the abortion pill. Whether you are for or against abortion, this has no bearing in my statements here. While I have never used the abortion pill myself, I have numerous friends who have. None of them were leisurely talking to anyone with a simple hot water bag on their stomach afterward, and completely fine a little while later. My girlfriends were in horrible pain for hours. Nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, chills, sweats, extreme cramps, and lots of bleeding. None were able to hold a conversation. Some hugged the toilet for hours. Others were in a fetal position because the cramps were so bad. These symptoms lasted minimally for hours and sometimes for 2 days. The abortion pill didn’t work for one of my girlfriends once, so even after enduring those horribly painful hours, she still needed to make her way to a clinic to have a traditional abortion.

I paused the episode and bluntly told my daughter this. I explained to her that in no way was this portrayal accurate. I told her that I hoped and prayed she would never be in the position where she would have to decide whether or not to have an abortion, but if she were to, and were to choose the pill, it is not that easy. I was and still am deeply disappointed with the way Ginny’s pregnancy was handled. Maybe this is the mom in me upset with this, or the teacher in me because this would be a teachable moment. Either way, I think Netflix did us wrong here.

But don’t get me wrong, I’m still a fan and cannot wait for Season 4.